Dear South Dakota GOP: Go Fuck Yourselves, You Paternalistic Asshats

South Dakota Governor Daugaard signed a law today that will not only increase the required waiting period from 24 hours to 72 hours - three days - before a woman can obtain an abortion, but will also mandate a visit to a crisis pregnancy center for counseling prior to her abortion.  There are so many layers of fuckery to this I don't even know where to start.

Perhaps with the paternalistic, "Slow down there, little lady" attitude this kind of bill conveys, as if the lawmakers who drafted it and supported it really do believe women flit off for an abortion between her manicure and pedicure without giving it a second thought?  Or maybe the are you fucking kidding me-ness of not only requiring counseling, but mandating where and from whom the woman must get that counseling, explicitly funneling women into CPCs which have been proven time and again to lie, mislead, withhold information, and use emotional strongarm tactics to try to coerce women out of having abortions?  How about the barriers this will place in front of women who live in rural areas and are already having to take multiple days off work and drive hundreds of miles to the state's one and only abortion clinic?

No, I think I'll start with the juicy bit: the astounding, jaw-dropping misogyny from Rep. Roger Hunt, the bill's main sponsor.  Protect your keyboards.
"Women need to just be reminded of the fact there is a natural, legal relationship between them and their child."
You unspeakable misogynist shitstain, what the fucking fuck do you think women have between their ears, pink lace and fluffy kittehs??  I am just at a loss here.  What do you say to/about someone who apparently thinks women really are too dumb to understand what being pregnant means?  Or maybe he thinks we've got too many episodes of Sex and the City stored in our delicate ladybrains to remember the baby part between the positive pregnancy test and the abortion clinic, and need to be reminded of what we went there for?  For the love of fuck, people, does it never cross your mind that pregnant people do, in fact, know exactly what's going on inside them when they're pregnant, and that's why they want an abortion?  And what does a "natural, legal relationship" mean, anyway?  Can someone translate that from douchebaggish to English?

Then there's Gov. Daugaard's statement on the issue, not quite as jaw-dropping, but pretty eyeroll-worthy
"I think everyone agrees with the goal of reducing abortion by encouraging consideration of other alternatives...I hope that women who are considering an abortion will use this three-day period to make good choices."
What.  Just...what.  First of all, no, I think it's fair to say there are quite a number of people who do not agree with the goal of reducing abortion by attempting to manipulate women into choosing not to have them.  And "make good choices"???  Oh my fucking gods, are you talking to the adult female citizens of your state, or your ten-year-old daughter?  Because that's the kind of condescending, paternal tone I'd expect to hear a parent using with their child, not a politician to HALF HIS FUCKING CONSTITUENCY.  Gonna follow that up with a nice lil pat on the head?

On the subject of "good choices," fuck you.  I DID make a "good choice" when I chose to have an abortion instead of a baby.  I made a good choice, given my life circumstances and personal desires.  "Good choice" is a value judgment that is entirely subjective.  What constitutes a "good choice" when faced with an accidental pregnancy will differ for each woman.  It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.

And of course, if it's South Dakota and abortion, it's Leslee Unruh:
“They heard the women's cries, they listened to the women who talked about coercion and said they wanted more time to make that decision. These are women who have had abortions. And so we are thrilled that they listened, they heard, they put politics aside.”
First, to Leslee Unruh: Shut the fuck up, you self-important wanknugget.  And what do you mean, they put politics aside?  This is textbook Republican politics when they have power; their politics imposed on women's bodies.

Second, to the women she's talking about, who "wanted more time to make that decision"*:  Here's what you do, if you ever find yourself in a situation like this again.  You put the phone down, do NOT call the abortion provider, you back away, you sit your ass down and fucking think about what you want to do.  If you made a kneejerk decision about terminating a pregnancy and have come to regret it, I'm sorry for your suffering, but that's on you, and it is NOT a goddamn justification for forcing other women to suffer for your mistake.  If you "want more time", then fucking take more time.  Do it yourself, instead of crying to the state to force you to do it, to do it for you.  See, the funny thing is, pro-choicers, we're not actually trying to rush you.  The only thing rushing you is biology, which wouldn't be that much of a problem except for your anti-choice "friends" who keep pushing the legal limit back as far as they possibly can.  But say you realize you're pregnant at 6 weeks, which seems to be a fairly common point of realization.  You've still got another 6 weeks before you're out of the first trimester!  That's a month and a half.  You have plenty of goddamn time.  Take all of it if you need to. 

See, part of being an adult is that beautiful, terrible mixture of freedom and responsibility, choice and consequences.  You can make your own choices in a way you can't as a child, but the price is that you bear the responsibility for their cost.  If you make a bad choice, that sucks, and I sympathize - gods know I haven't always made good choices in my life, either - but you are responsible for it, because it was your choice. 

But laws like these, the message they send, writ large, is nothing more or less than this:  Pregnancy-capable people, we do not consider you adults capable of making difficult choices about your life and body, but children, who the state has a responsibility to protect from the consequences of your own rash actions.

Either you believe we are people, with the freedom and responsibilities of people, or you do not.  Clearly, the South Dakota legislature does not.  My sympathies for the people affected by this big bag o' fail, and good luck to the organizations intending to challenge it in court.


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