Friday Random: Somebody Save Me

Serious and political and religious all have their place, but silly and random is good, too. For this first Friday Random, I'm yoinking a meme from Bitch Ph.D. It's a cross between the "25 Things" and "iPod Top Ten" memes, and is more fun than either. Take the list of 25 questions, put your iPod on shuffle, and use the first 25 songs as your answers.

1. What do your friends say about you?
Elis, "Phoenix From The Ashes" --- I guess I never die. Or am constantly reborn through trial or something. Kinda cool, I guess.

2. How would your coworkers describe you?
Lacuna Coil, "When A Dead Man Walks" --- Um. I'm a zombie at work? Or is that my career that's dead?

3. How would you describe yourself?
Three Doors Down, "The Road I'm On" --- Apparently I'm a traveler. Are we going with the title or the lyrics?

4. What do you like in a romantic partner?
Three Doors Down, "Here Without You" --- Despite my blazing hatred for long-distance relationships, having done more than I ever wanted of that, apparently I like my partner to be not where I am.

5. How do you feel today?
Moody Blues, "I Know You're Out There Somewhere" --- Well, that's frighteningly accurate.

6. What is your life’s purpose?
Within Temptation feat. Keith Caputo, "What Have You Done" --- Oh, fuck. Question is, am I supposed to be saying that, or making other people say that?

7. What is your motto?
Theatre of Tragedy, "Senseless" --- I'm a nihilist, I guess.

8. What do you think about the most?
t.A.T.u., "I Lost My Mind" --- Apparently I don't.

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation?
t.A.T.u., "Friend or Foe" --- Hmmm. An active war zone perhaps?

10. What do you think of your first love/date?
Krypteria, "At The Gates of Retribution" --- I'm getting vengeance? Really?

11. What is your life story?
Coldplay, "Shiver" --- Fruitlessly waiting. Fun.

12. What did you do yesterday?
DragonForce, "Through The Fire And Flames" --- I dunno, I didn't think it was that bad.

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love?
Delain, "Silhouette of a Dancer" --- LOL. And that's all I'm saying.

14. What describes your wedding? (I'm not married and doubt I ever will...)
Within Temptation, "Angels" --- "No remorse cause I still remember/The smile when you tore me apart" That's a cheery outlook.

15. What will they play at your funeral?
Jewel, "Good Day" --- At least it's not Ding Dong The Witch is Dead...

16. What is your obsession?
System of a Down, "Hypnotize" --- I will hypnotize the world to my will! Or I have a hypnosis fetish. Whichever.

17. What is your biggest fear?
A Perfect Circle, "Judith" --- *huge snork* Um. That's Boyfriend's mom's name. Oops?

18. What is your biggest secret?
t.A.T.u., "Clowns" --- Not the clowns!!!

19. What is your biggest turn-on?
Evanescence, "Snow White Queen" --- Vampire women? A Snow White fetish? I'm starting to worry here.

20. How do you describe your friends?
Amanda Palmer, "Guitar Hero" --- Gamers. Yeah.

21. What would you do with a million dollars?
John Mayer, "Your Body Is A Wonderland" --- Have lots and lots of sex, apparently. Wait. Why do I need a million dollars for that?

22. What is your opinion of sex?
Mylene Farmer, "L'amour N'est Rien" --- Wow...the song, for those who don't speak French, is all about how love is nothing and sex is everything. And the video is a striptease.

23. What is your biggest regret?
Elis, "Betrayal" --- Who have I betrayed and why haven't I told me?

24. What would you rather be doing right now?
The Birthday Massacre, "Science" --- Mmm. Lab goggles, baby.

25. What will you post this list as?
Krypteria, "Somebody Save Me" --- Yes. Please do.

What's your 25 Songs?

Colorado State Senator Renfroe: Murder isn't legal, why should gayness be?

I guess comparing homosexuality to bestiality just wasn't shocking enough anymore. Check out this fuckwit, a duly elected representative to the Colorado State Senate, who feels entitled to stand up before other elected representatives and push policy decisions based on his personal religious beliefs:



Shorter Sen. Renfroe: "My god says gayness is just as icky as murder and adultery, therefore I want to make it illegal for everyone, no matter whether you worship my god or not." Full transcript and my enraged ranting a thorough verbal spanking of this douchenozzle after the jump.

(Emphasis mine)

Thank you, Madame Chair. Members, I also come down here to oppose this bill. When we look at some of the declarations in the bill, some of the arguments used here to do this, I guess, number one is that there are employers that offer this are at a competitive advantage over those employers that do not offer such benefits. And number one, employers, that's the private sector, and I believe in that choice, and the private sector should be allowed to do that, and businesses should have that opportunity to choose how they run their business and what they want to do. The state, on the other hand, we are here to represent the people of Colorado and do the State's business. And like Senator (somebody) said, the state did actually speak almost directly to this isue two years ago, and in the last three years we've had bills that contradict what the people of the state of Colorado voted on directly in 2006. So with that, I think that part of the declaration should be considered in that what the will of the people was.

And for me, personally...I guess I oppose this bill because of what the vote of the people was. And then I also oppose this bill because of what my personal beliefs are. And I think that what our country was founded upon was those beliefs, also. You know that in the beginning, God created our earth and the structure for creation, when you have God, you have the Son, and then you have the Holy Spirit. You have that trinity. You also have that same trinity, which is in my opinion a mimic-over to what we have within the family. You have the father - the husband - you have the wife, and then you have the children. And I think when you look at that scenario, that is what we were created for, and I think that's what the Bible says. Through the whole beginning of creation, it talks about how we, how things were created, and that it was good, it was good, it was good. It says over and over that it was good. Then we get to verse 18 in Genesis 2: The Lord God said it is not good for man to be alone. And so he made him a helper suitable for him, and that was woman. And then if you go on, it talks about that, God blessed them, and said then be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, rule over the fish of the sea, over the birds, over the sky, over every living thing that moves on the earth. And then in Genesis 9, he said to Noah again, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. And i think that that goes back to this whole picture of family, which God created us for, and we need to honor that.

Homosexuality is seen as a violation of this natural created order, and it is an offense to God, the creator who created men and women, male and female, for procreation. Leviticus 18:22 says: You shall not lie with a man as one lies with a female, it is an abomination. Leviticus 20:13 says: If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act, and they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltness is upon them.

In Romans 1:18, So the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteous men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness. And that's what we're doing here. We're suppressing the truth. The truth is what the family was created for in the beginning. That is, a husband, a wife, and children. And that is why were are here, and this goes against that. And this is just a continuation of the detraction of the family.

And what I...I say all that to back up my beliefs in where we're going with this. I believe government is here, we are here to create the laws of our land. And when we create laws that goes against what Biblically we are supposed to stand for, I think we are agreeing or allowing to go forward a sin which should not be treated by government as something that is legal. And that is what we are going to do with this, and what we have done in the past, we are taking sins and making them to be legally okay, and that is wrong. That is an abomination according to Scripture. And I'm not saying that this is the only sin that's out there, obviously we have sin, we have murder, we have, we have, um, we have all sorts of sins, we have adultery, and we don't make laws making those legal, and we would never think to make murder legal. But what I'm saying that for, is that all sin is equal. That sin there is as equal to any other sin that's in the Bible, to having wandering eyes, to coveting your neighbor's things. Whatever you do, that sin is equal and it can be forgiven because of that.

So with that, I think I need to go back and say that I stand in my belief that this is wrong, and we should not condone it as a government, and I think that the verses that I quoted you in Leviticus back that up in a strong way, and I ask you to vote no on this bill.

Seriously? This guy considers it A-O-fucking-K to stand up in a body of representatives elected by a diverse population of constituents worshiping many different religions, and base his entire fucking argument on a passage from his holy book that says gay people should be put to death for the blood-guilt of their terrible gay ways? What century are we in, again? This is 2009, is it not?

And yet, in the year 2009, this man flat-out declares his support for defining what should be legal and illegal by the specific Christian concept of sins. What's up next, then? A ban on shellfish? Restricting textile manufacturers from producing mixed-fiber fabrics? Stoning as a sentencing option? Shit, if you're gonna create your government to be in line with one particular religion, you might as well go all the way. I'm sure there are many people better-versed in the peculiarities of Old Testament law than I am who could provide even more absurd examples of the kinds of laws we might be subjected to under this fuckmonkey's guidance.

Honestly, I'm just floored that he said all this as if it were perfectly normal to assume that your religion is the One Twue Religion and that it is entirely legitimate to apply the rules of that religion to everyone, no matter what their religious beliefs might be. Seriously, what part of his brain was this guy using? I'm inclined to think none of it.

And if the religious angle isn't enough to infuriate you: He compared homosexuality to murder with a straight fucking face. Enough said.

Your Uterus: Property of the State of Tennessee/North Dakota!

Your uterus may soon no longer be your own, if you live in Tennessee or North Dakota.

North Dakota's Fetal Personhood
The state of North Dakota, yesterday, passed in Assembly a "fetal personhood" amendment, which writes into state law that a fertilized egg, even before it attaches to the wall of the uterus and begins developing, has all the rights of a person under the state constitution. Mind you, there is no way to medically determine the existence of a fertilized egg until it implants, so this law technically grants rights to a fertilized egg before we can even detect its existence. Tell me how that makes sense?

If this passes the state Senate, the used tampons and pads of any woman whose period was a few days late are a potential crime scene. A woman who has a miscarriage can be investigated and possibly prosecuted for manslaughter or even murder. What if a woman eats tuna, high in mercury and not recommended for pregnant women, or drinks too much coffee? Will she be monitored, fined, or charged with neglect or abuse? What about an ectopic pregnancy? Must doctors wait until the fallopian tube ruptures, since they cannot "kill" the "person", and just hope they can stop the bleeding before the woman dies? When does the embryo get its SSN? Can you claim a tax deduction a whole year earlier, then? How about frozen embryos in IVF clinics? Aren't they people, too? And not only does this outlaw abortion entirely, this could mean that birth control is no longer legal either, since one of the ways in which hormonal birth control works is to thin the lining of the uterus to make implantation more difficult for a fertilized egg.

And if the embryo has the rights of a person, shouldn't it have the responsibilities, too? Charge it with domestic violence when it kicks. How about trespassing, if it's where it's not wanted? In fact, I should think you could argue in favor of permitting abortion, because the embryo is holding the woman's body hostage at great risk to life and health, and she should have the right to defend herself with deadly force if necessary. Going yet one step further, since the 14th amendment to the Constitution of the US clearly says that a citizen is one "born or naturalized", the little womb-leech is an undocumented immigrant. Deport it!

Tennessee's Pregnant-Woman-Monitoring
In addition to this clusterfuck of dumbassery, Tennessee has had a bill introduced today which requires mandatory alcohol and drug testing, followed by mandated rehab, if any of the following occur:

(1) No prenatal care;
(2) Late prenatal care after twenty-four (24) weeks gestation;
(3) Incomplete prenatal care;
(4) Abruptio placentae;
(5) Intrauterine fetal death;
(6) Preterm labor of no obvious cause;
(7) Intrauterine growth retardation of no obvious cause;
(8) Previously known alcohol or drug abuse; or
(9) Unexplained congenital anomalies.

Have a religious objection to medical care? You must be on drugs, get a test! Can't take a day off work so you miss an appointment late in your pregnancy? You're probably an alcoholic, get a test! Switch providers without notifying your previous OB? You crackhead, get a test! Have a miscarriage? It was probably your fault for doing all those drugs, take a test! Go into labor early, which happens naturally all the time? You must have triggered it with your drinking. Your baby has a birth defect? All your fault, we're putting you in rehab. Recovered alcoholic who's been sober for ten years? We don't trust you, because we all know women get stupid when they're pregnant, so you need tested anyway.

So a woman who has a glass of wine one night - which, mind you, is still perfectly legal even if you're pregnant, and occasional alcohol use has been shown to cause no damage to the fetus - and misses her appointment two days later, can be forced into rehab. Which forces her to take time off work, and quite possibly lose her job. All for the sin of having a drink and missing an appointment. And what if she has children already? I'm sure the state will be happy to shove the children into the already overworked and underfunded foster system while their pregnant mother is in treatment for alcoholism she doesn't have. What a fucking nightmare.

Why?
As different as these bills are in their details, the premises are the same:

• Life begins at conception
• Women are not capable of taking care of themselves and their fetuses
• Therefore, the state has both the right (since they can't do it themselves) and the obligation (since that's already a little citizen of their state in there) to do so for them.

The idea that life begins at conception is really the foundation upon which this argument rests. Without that, even if you assume women are just too stupid/emotional/what-the-hell-ever to take care of themselves during pregnancy, that becomes a personal problem that the state might have a reason to offer help with, but has no reason to mandate treatment for.

To be honest, the only way I've heard people advocate for the "Life begins at conception!" idea is with their religion. Christianity, in particular. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "I knew you even before I formed you in your mother's womb," which apparently means that personhood begins even before conception. (I think the womb-control crowd only uses conception because they would be laughed off the planet if they proposed to make birth control, male masturbation, and female abstinence illegal all in one fell swoop.)

Can someone please explain to me why people feel it is acceptable to try to write their religious beliefs into laws that will be applied to those not of their faith? I really don't get it. The kind of blind, patronizing arrogance it takes to say "My god told me what's best for you, so I'm going to make you do it whether you want to or not, whether you believe in my god or not," with a straight face is just stunning. So Christianity believes that life begins at/before conception. Well, Judaism holds that life begins at the first breath. Hindu belief holds that abortion is murder, although I cannot find any clear statement on when life begins. And Pagans, we range the whole spectrum, from those who feel that the spirit destined for that body incarnates early in the pregnancy and thus an abortion violates that spirit's wishes, to those who feel that the spirit incarnates later, as early as quickening or as late as birth depending on the belief, and so early abortion is no big deal.

So why, then, is one religion trying to speak for everyone? My body is not for sale or rent, to any government or any god not of my choosing. Stop trying to steal it anyway.

Writing for Teh Laydeez

During the election, everyone laughed when Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she got her news from, and got a stammering "Um...I don't know...whatever's handed to me?" in response. The general line of reasoning was, if she can't even credit what sources she learns of the news from, how can we believe she has any idea whatsoever what she's talking about? Even if one accepts that she doesn't *have* to read the papers, that she gets briefed by her staffers on events relevant to her duties, it certainly showcases a major gap between her and "average" Americans - a deadly image for the folksy, down-home persona she tried to project.

And yet, among the younger demographic, fewer and fewer of us would have an answer to the question of "What newspaper do you read?" It's not that we're uninformed - I subscribe to 60 blogs, at least a third of which are news-oriented or focused on timely and topical postings - but newspapers? Who reads those anymore?

Not women, according to a report from the International Newspaper Marketing Association. Women are a steeply declining readership for traditional newspapers, and zomg, the poor ol' boys at the top of the editorial heap just can't figure out why!

According to the report, newspaper studies have shown "that women respond most strongly to news that is intensely local, has an accessible graphic presentation, is solutions-oriented (this is especially important in foreign and political reporting, women say) and is told in a storytelling style, rather than a "just the facts, ma'am" approach." Really? I'm sorry, my ladybits didn't inform me that they prefer "intensely local" (as opposed to what? half-assedly local?) news to national and international news. Who knew my cunt had a reading preference?

Dear World: Stop regarding women as a "special interest group." We make up 51% of the damn population. If anything, men should be the "special interest group." Specifically, newspaper-people: Stop shoving stories of women being dismembered and stuffed in freezers, lost in poker games, kidnapped for refusing a marriage proposal, and beaten into the "Odd News" section. There is nothing odd about these things. Let women's voices be heard. 78-97% (depending on the paper) of op-eds are written by men. Actually use the word "rape" appropriately, instead of constantly talking about men "having sex with" unconscious women. Do these things, start showing that you think women are really people too, and your readership among women might come out of its freefall. No focus group necessary.