An ex of mine posted this on Facebook today (reminding me of *why* he's an ex [and dude, if you still read my blog, sorry, but yeah]): Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them.
First of all, when the originating site is called The Art of Manliness, well. That's a yellow alert right there, especially as it seems to take itself quite seriously.
And then you read the article itself, which is chock-full of heteronormativity and marriage-pushing (it links to another article on the site called "The Case for Marriage", which hits the usual high notes of "married men are happier/wealthier/healthier" without noting why, and what that may be costing the wives in this equation, who are apparently invisible accessories one uses to gain happiness/wealth/health bonuses, not people with whom one has a fulfilling relationship). It gets bonus points for lamenting how many guys are "just hanging out" with women these days - because gods know you would never want to just be friends with women - and playing the "young'uns today have had their social skills ruined by the internet!" card. "Feminism makes boners sad" makes an appearance, too - damn us liberated women, making the questions of "who asks who out?" and "who pays?" a matter of conscious communication instead of assumptions!
The cure for these ills, of course, is a return to the days when men ask women out. And that's pretty much it. There's the "She secretly wants you to ask" bit, of course - "Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date." - which...well, really. First of all, what is "the rhetoric...about the liberated woman" even supposed to mean? The idea that women are adults who are perfectly capable of approaching a stranger they'd like to get to know and asking him or her out, instead of helpless girls just waiting to be asked to dance? This is just rhetoric that you should disregard? Secondly, of course (most) women like to be asked out*. So do (most) men, and I would venture, most people in general. Being the askee is a confirmation that you are desirable and worth risking rejection for. That's a nice feeling - assuming the ask was respectful and appropriate in timing/wording/approach, and the asker was actually okay with "no" if that was one's answer - which I don't think is exactly gender-dependent.
"Be a man and ask these women out."
No. Please don't. Not if you're taking your advice from a shitty article on why gender norms ought to jump back a few decades.
And of course it ends with "So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date." Just call a woman! Any woman! Doesn't matter if you're really interested in dating her or not! Doesn't matter if you're happy being single! By the transitive power of the uterus, all women are interchangeable, so just pick one and try to date her!
*Although not necessarily, and even if they do, not necessarily by men. Which this whole article completely disregards.
4 comments:
LMAO, you made me laugh. I'm so glad I read this article. I think tomorrow I'm going to ask this one guy out just to spite it.
But...but...WHAT IF YOUR AGENCY AND INDEPENDENT WAYS MELTS HIS BONER? ;-)
Then you'll have a good start on Sunday's meat loaf, won't you?
...It's a good thing nobody was home to hear the sound I just made. It was very odd indeed. ^_^
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