I had this thought the other night. I've gained weight, you see, from my high school size of a 10/12ish (US) up to around a 16/18 these days. And I'll be honest, I'm kind of struggling with my self-image and how to feel beautiful in a body my culture emphatically and repeatedly tells me is UGLY and DISGUSTING and THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL IN THE VERSE. (The irony, of course, is that were it not for such messages that made me feel unacceptably big even at my smallest adult size, I wouldn't have dieted my metabolism into the ground and gained 100lbs over the past 7 years. Diet culture is what *made* me fat.)
Anyway, I was talking to myself about fashion, and clothes, and fit, and how to look good and more importantly, feel like I look good in my clothes at this size. And I tried on for size (pun fully intended) the cop-out line of "it doesn't have to make me look skinny, so long as it's flattering."
But then it occurred to me: what else is "flattering" code for, in this context, but "skinny"? We say clothes flatter us when they smooth our lumps and rolls, when they create visual illusions of height and a curve from waist-to-hip and fuller, higher, rounder breasts. Hmm. Smooth lines, height, hourglass figure. What does that sound like?
Why, our culture's oppressively narrow standard for female beauty, of course! What we really mean when we say clothing "flatters" us, is "it helps us to inch closer to The Beautiful Body by camouflaging the body that is actually ours, veiling our real flesh in illusion."
Wow. That's...not an improvement at all, is it? "It doesn't have to make me look skinny, so long as it
As they say, it's hard to fight the enemy when the enemy has outposts in your own head.
I still don't know, after years of jeans-and-tshirts, what I want my fashion and style to look like. But I do know, now, that flattering is not a concept I want anywhere near it.
11 comments:
I am WELL past the 16/18 size these days. I am the dreaded OMG DEATHFATTIE. And these days, I wear what I can find made in my size that isn't a loud print muumuu or crappy thin knitwear, which are the two things that makers of fat folk clothes insist we want. It doesn't help that one of the largest marketers of plus size clothing use models who are a size 8 to show their clothing. They also limit their nicer clothing to sizes 12-26W or if you're lucky, up to a size 32W. For those of us in the "extended size" range, flattering takes a back seat to available.
I think I'd enjoy the clothing choices available to me at size 16 more if I could afford to have everything tailored to fit my body, instead of hanging like a sack or, worse, splattered with tags screaming "Instantly Slims You!" to advertise their fun-with-side-panels designs. I like my body. But when I'm already shopping off the big-box clearance rack, I can't afford to have someone reshape all of it.
"Crappy thin knitwear" lolsob. I know exactly what you mean. I also hear you on the thin models for plus-size clothes. That always annoyed the crap out of me when I worked at LB - that and the mannequins we used for displays, which were about a size 10 if I had to guess, and on which we pinned back the clothing to make it fit the smaller "model", thus creating the visual illusion of "hey, maybe I can look like that if I buy that outfit!". I worked there, I was the one who dressed the mannequins even, and I still had to pinch myself occasionally to stop thinking "But maybe..." >.< Insidious crap.
Anyway, yeah, I hear you. My condolences; I have issues enough with clothes as a "small fattie", I can't even imagine trying to wrestle the demonic entity that is western fashion retail when it comes to so-called "extended sizes"! :-/
YES. I've said it for years, even when I was thinner (cause I have epic boobs, even when I was smaller, I still wore a 36DD), that "someday when I have money I will have EVERYTHING tailored to fit." Can you imagine? Clothing that doesn't bunch, sag, stretch, skew, bag, but actually just goes along the contours of your body? *wistful sigh*
Don't even get me started on "slimming panels". What a crock of shit. If I wanted to wear a girdle, I'd buy one. Please stop trying to build them into the clothing.
I can imagine such clothing, because the pieces I've made myself do fit that way, but even though I enjoy it and have enough skill to pull it off, I don't have time to make my own clothes, and fabric is expensive, too. Not everybody can do that, and not everybody wants to do that, and nobody should have to do that because there's not enough variety made in their size to give them a reasonable chance of finding something that will fit and that they like.
Ooooh. I has a jealous. I wouldn't know what to do with a sewing machine if it bit me. Agreed on how that shouldn't be *necessary* though.
If you ever want tips on how to start learning, drop me a note (teaspoonwithlime at gmail dot com). I won't plague you with a bunch of unsolicited advice, though.
I appreciate the offer. I should probably not start trying to pick up another hobby right now, though. I have too many as it is. ;-)
Great analysis! Also, yay, Jadelyn's writing again, a little! :)
nice article writing style
witch
Easing back into it, a post at a time. Still not doing *well* personally, but basically I've decided I'm tired of the beast eating up things that matter to me.
Also it helps that I have this fantastic image to keep in mind when I start going "BUT WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?!?!?!" ^_^
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